Packing up to head to the neighbouring island of Koh Samui, I just needed to return my bike which I had rented nearby. I had broken the golden rule of agreeing to hand over my passport as a form of deposit, without another option by the renter, so I had the key at the ready in my favourite pocket.
A big padlock was on the door, so I walked to the shop at the end of the road before heading back to my room. While clearing up, I couldn’t find the flipping bike key! Darkness fell. I slowly retraced my steps along the road with my phone torch. No luck. I asked every nearby shop if someone might have picked up and handed in the key. Nope.
What followed was a very restless night turning my room inside out. I had to pay 1000 Baht for the loss the next day in exchange for my passport. The blerrie key had fallen into my big backpack while packing, which I only discovered after leaving koh Phangan! That’s worth two and a half full-body massages. Bleak.
That was probably the most eventful thing that happened during those last few days on Koh Phangan. There was one 20-minute bike ride before getting soaked, and a 15-minute walk another day, then soaked. A bumpy speedboat got us to Koh Samui which had to dock at a more sheltered side of the island due to large swells. I later read that a tourist boat had capsized the day before!
Koh Samui
The only thing I really knew about Koh Samui beforehand, was that it’s popular. It was also the primary setting for season 3 of the White Lotus TV series. So, I booked a week’s stay in a quiet family home, and I loved it. There were four big rooms upstairs and a communal kitchen and lounge area downstairs. No sign of other guests though. Part of the property is called “The Nature”. I got offered two welcome drinks at the restaurant upon arrival. I gave the spare one to a couple dining together. I read the splurb on their menu:
“The Nature has been implemented to be a model for people on Koh Samui by applying the Sufficiency Economy of King Rama 9 such as planting organic gardens and using organic products and our local materials here on the island to be able to support and distribute income to the community.”
I rented the fanciest bike I’ve experienced to date from Peter the German, who has been living next door for 20 years. “There is no better place in the world than Koh Samui”, he said with a contented smile while slapping mosquitoes. Such a lush environment with shallow dirty puddles, is a shag haven for mossies, which were hunting in packs!
The roads of Koh Samui are sketchy – with potholes, large muddy puddles (if it has rained), steep climbs and sharp turns. I was getting increasingly comfortable riding my big sturdy bike, but it’s the farangs who ride topless with a pair of headphones and a backwards cap as a helmet that you need to be wary of.
I like to spend the first couple of days in a new place learning the lay of the land, so I headed for Beach Street. It was very wet with mad traffic. The atmosphere and farang faces felt a bit gloomy due to the perpetual lack of sunshine. I was very happy to randomly chance upon the local food market, where the vibe was a lot more Thai.
I also tend to gatecrash the most expensive accommodation spots on islands to see how the 2% do it. Riding or walking passed signs that say “resort guests only” with a confident smile of both friendliness and false self-entitlement, hasn’t failed me yet. The priciest place was at the top of a very high-altitude peninsula with a private beach. However, they are still busy constructing half of the tasteless, copy-paste chalets as well as the pool! I’d be really miffed if I was staying there.
Koh Samui Nightlife & the Puddle
I soon learned that Koh Samui has naughty nightlife on par with Phuket and Bangkok. This needed investigating. One party street is in an area called Chaweng, which was fairly close by, so I headed there. It’s what one might expect, with scantly clad girls dancing on rotating tables and a middle-aged mamasang (madam) negotiating prices with wide-eyed cliental.
One thing different was being approached by a young Russian girl in a little tartan skirt. “It’s free to come inside. Come look!” It was a Russian strip club, with some very gorgeous but very young Russian girls sitting at the bar. They got a bit pissed off when I politely declined a dance and said that I had just arrived and was still looking around, but I will always remain curious to know what their individual stories are.
I realised it was getting quite late so made a final stroll towards the party street exit. This is when working girls start to snipe! There is no more initial flirting and having a drink together. It can be a case of getting latched around your favourite arm.
I took a bike taxi outta there but we came pipe in a large muddy puddle! It’s no fault of the poor driver, I feel, but I was wearing my favourite long white pants and white shirt! They have been soaking in a myriad of soaps, but they may not be the same shade again, but c’est la vie.
Koh Samui habitants then experienced the first rays of sunshine in almost a week! People flocked to the beaches. I found a lovely one but kept one eye on the dark clouds above while floating on my back in the ocean. Then down came the rain. People began scrambling to safety with bags, beach gear and babies.
Some Russians cursed the heavens. A favourite moment was when the rain ceased fire and people went back on the beach. This huge Russian man was still quite angry at the weather while clutching his tiny coffee cup. Chin up comrade!
Lamai Beach on Koh Samui
It was fun making the most of the less-wet weather and having a look at the other Koh Samui nightlife spots around Lamai Beach during the daytime. All the places seemed to be taking a break and waiting for nightfall. There was Lover’s Bar, Cowgirl Bar, Boom Bums Bar, and one that must be the more family-friendly one, called Sexy Sex Bar. I may need to investigate.
Next: Koh Samui Mountains & Khao Yum
Previously: Xantiva Ice Bath & OXA Party on Koh Phangan
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