Yes, it sounds exactly like that phonetically. No one (however Trump-like) can put a price on fresh air. Well, Hanoi got officially declared as the world’s most polluted city in 2025. In the New Year, authorities were encouraging residents to pretty much avoid breathing. The Air Quality Index peaked above 300 in early January, with a big red label: “Hazardous”!
So I semi-gapped it to Tam Coc Bich Dong in the province of Ninh Binh, which took two hours by bus. The air quality dropped by 50 points on arrival! Tam Coc is a small, touristy town, famous for limestone mountains, row boats, and French. King Kong also used to roam around here during his filming days.
The biggest selling point of the town are the river boat cruises. I chose to spend the first day seeing how far I could get on foot, before backpedalling and renting a bike for peanuts. I could basically follow the slow boats and beat them to many of their destinations, with extra time to take the time at each place without fear of missing the boat.
Buffalo Cave – Tam Coc
One stop was at the Buffalo Cave. You are greeted by a young Vietnamese woman in makeup, who enthusiastically says, “Welcome to my village! Come sit and relax with a free drink! Entrance is 75,000 Dong.” You get to feed ducks and ducklings (caged) which seemed like they had missed several lunches. Yet when I left an hour later, they seemed just as ravenous! I wonder if ducks can explode..?
You can also grab a fishing pole and clump of sticky rice for bait. I saw one human catch a tiny Carp which went into a bucket. Close to that is the entrance into the “Buffalo Cave”, which took a bit of bending to get into the shallow depths, where there were some modern-looking carvings dating back to the early 2000’s. It’s hard to know what is genuinely authentic in places like this.
I was loving the freedom and cheapness of motoring myself around. I felt a little sheepish when I reached the main temple attraction being visited by cyclists, but I think they were generally a little envious of my mode of transport over long stretches of gravely road. If you have visited more iconic temples in the East, then the “Thai Vi” one is very mediocre. When a tourist asked the guide what kind of incense they burned at the temple, I was further relieved that I hadn’t paid to hear that.
Riding about as quietly as I could, I happened upon a movie set! I was asked to briefly wait as beautifully-dressed actresses moved about to get their eye-liner touched up. Perhaps King Kong’s nephew still lives in these parts. Not far from the film-crew was a huge graveyard, with some smoke coming from one of the graves being tended to by a goat.
Despite the ‘overcast’ weather/pollution, Tam Coc did not look like the postcards. I had expected to see Water Buffalo helping to plough the rice paddies, but mechanical versions were motoring around against a hazy backdrop. Construction projects are everywhere – some half-built and others completely abandoned. You can taste the cement on the palette as you eat a spring roll.
I eventually did decide to join a boat tour in an area called Tràng An. A young German couple very much in love let me join them. The temple stops were not spectacular, but rowing through a cave system that stretched 1000kms while ducking heads, was a true highlight!
I had booked 3-nights in Tam Coc but kept extending my stay. Chatting with fellow travellers, moving my butt about by bike, hiking to the highest peaks, and just enjoying the slower pace of life, was great. There are a bajillion different restaurants, but by early evening, you can grab a smoothie and bánh mì (that lovely Frenchy Vietnamese sandwich) for the cost of half a sock.
There is also no shortage of Nutella. The crème de le crème of French cuisine, non?
Next: Vietnam Football Frenzy & Tet Prep
Previously: Korean Street Karaoke – Bac Ninh
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