Old Town (Thailand Travel Diary #28)

I found myself slipping back into old habits. As a Gen-Whatever, if there is a screen in front of us, I’m sure many would want to see what it can display. Well, my friend (with whom I had been staying with for a while) has a MASSIVE TV, with ALL the channels, paired with a comfy couch. One service is called IPTV, which is apparently not entirely legal, but it does have over 30,000 movies, series and documentaries to watch! #Dangerous.

I decided to shake things up for that weekend while my friend was away and booked a 3-night stay in a little boutique hotel in Old Town. There are bits of ancient wall surrounded by a perfectly square moat. There is also a section being excavated for treasures, which you can cross via a sandbagged pathway. This is also Tourist Town. A popular jazz club is right next door and the ladies (and ladyboys) of the night, also operate nearby. Recurring reflection keeps me grateful that I’m a mature TRAVELER, and not a tourist. I’m sure wallets are drained dry by the male twenty-something-tons.

Some Old Town highlights were the live music, night markets, chilling out in the peaceful park, exploring the small side-streets, and temple visits. It’s really special to witness how devotedly Buddhist many of the locals actually are, with many sitting in silence for long periods of time in front of statues and making big bows, with others lighting incense or leaving offerings at shrines. You can tell that they are in a spiritual headspace if you catch a glimpse of their faces. Love it.

Some of the temples are clearly ancient, with crumbly bricks and stone and faded script on the walls. Others are like modern curio shops that could have been built last week. It’s a bit strange seeing ancient architecture devoted to an old philosophy based on kindness and gratefulness, alongside capitalism. But what is up with the holy chickens?! There are chicken statues everywhere, covered in beads and flowers. I need to learn what that’s all about.

Old Town gets crazy after dark as nightlife sets in, but I could not let that experience pass me by. Unfortunately, I had not been successful on the dating apps by this point, so the Friday night was a little lonely. I chatted to a waitress for a bit who had an interesting story. She was from Kazakhstan, and when her penny-less father brought her over, he fell in love with Thailand and set up shop. The daughter went on to finish high school in Chiang Mai, worked there for 2 years, and is hoping to get accepted into Uni in the UK. Quite a turn of events.

I just wished I had a dance partner in that moment. It feels a little creepy squeaking takkie among groups of people dancing, but I did it anyway. You’re also never alone with a phone. One tactic is to listen to old voice-notes, which allows you to smile intentionally. I also learnt something about Thai women on the dating apps. It became clear that many send translated messages, and I’ve heard that some even use AI to communicate, so the level of genuine English and understanding is a problem.

But on night two I made some friends! This was a successful match with a South African who lives in China, who was simply looking to make new friends. Perfect! We met up along with another Afrikaner and a young Mexican man. They were huge fun and their company really helped me escape a bleak patch.

I can now name every part of the human face in Thai, say that’s it’s raining a little bit, and politely ask for ice in a glass. My unpaid tutor seemed to really enjoy herself when I got words wrong. I’ve forgotten to mention that my friend and I have Thai names. He is “Somboon”, which means “perfect man”. I’m “Somchai”, which means “manly man”. The locals seem to get a kick out of that too.

Final reflections on what I think other nations should adopt:

1. The bum gun (obviously). Save the trees and prevent haemorrhoids.
2. Reverse-osmosis water dispensers. These are everywhere. 1 Baht per liter.
3. Small shower heaters instead of big geysers. I really want to understand the engineering behind these, but the water is heated very quickly and your simply turn a knob to adjust the temperature.
4. Smart keycards attached to your accommodation keys. These need to be inserted into a (smart) slot to power the lights and aircon, so when you leave your room, these all get switched off automatically.
5. There are also next-level vending machines in Thailand, that can serve you up a wide range of coffees, teas, smoothies etc. They also allow you to choose your sweetness level, including zero sugar.

Mr/Mrs President of the World (or Alien Overlords), I hope you’re listening.

Next: Thailand #29 – I’m a F*ck Daddy!

Previously: Thailand #27 – Pew Pew Pew!

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