Out With a Bang at Soi Cowboy (Thailand Diary #31)

Pattaya is a coastal town in Thailand (and not far from Bangkok) which can be said to have accelerated the now booming SE Asian sex industry. Once a peaceful fishing village, American servicemen decided that they needed a place to “relax” and get servicing of their own during their war next door in Vietnam. It didn’t take long for the idea of being able to make good money from servicing horny men, to spread into Bangkok and other areas of both Thailand and Vietnam.

I will confess that the thought of strolling through the streets of Bangkok after dark as a fresh piece of meat, scared me, but it was my final few days of my whole adventure and I knew I would regret not experiencing it in some way. I first feel like I need to justify my inhibitions a bit before sharing.

On the night I arrived (and decided to stay in) there was a huge drug raid at one of the more popular areas near Soi Cowboy. A major club got surrounded by police who tackled anyone who tried to make a run for it. They arrested over 200 people after mandatory urine tests for drugs. It was clearly a known fact that illegal substances were dealt and consumed in the area.

In 2022, three British lads got pulled into a “go-go bar” in Soi Cowboy, which is basically where feats of the human vagina are performed that could never be properly explained or proven in a sex ed class. They were the only patrons that got taken into a seedy upstairs area. They ordered drinks which never came, but the working girls kept leaving their own drinks on the table. When they decided to leave, the heavy-set madame of the establishment, as well as a big bouncer man, stopped them at the door and began shouting in Thai. They found a gap and hauled ass out of there!

So off I went towards it all on my final night, with great trepidation, on the back of a bike. The Soi Cowboy street was pumping. All the working girls were already in their underwear or bikinis. I walked slowly with hands in my pockets. I got pulled by the arm and taken behind a curtain. There were a bunch of ‘performers’ on stage, ‘dancing’ as if the ground was shaking slightly. I soon found out that they were all ladyboys.

“Lady drinks” in Thailand are an option for the more STI-wary clientele. You buy a girl (or ladyboy) a drink at a hugely inflated cost in order to have a conversation with them while they try to tempt you into sin by rubbing your thigh and telling you how handsome you are. I tried to ask ‘Anne’ about his/her life. Heavy doses of hormones, a boob job, and a bit of surgery over the course of 10 years, would honestly fool anyone when looking at the end result.

I continued my stroll and got yanked behind another curtain. I was now in a go-go bar. A biologically ‘real’ woman was on stage in full nude. Two guys were handed ping pong paddles and told to stand at opposite ends. The performer launched ping pong balls from her bits at least 8 meters in distance with amazing accuracy!

Back in the streets of Soi Cowboy, I got pulled behind a third curtain. More half naked bodies were on stage moving about suggestively. I got surrounded by four girls and got told that they were ‘real’. They all wanted expensive drinks. I said I would buy just one for an older woman sat next to me who spoke good English (as well as Dutch and German).

We went outside and had a very worthwhile conversation. She was 45 years of age, was Muslim, had 5 children, a new husband, and a Dutch boyfriend. Everything about this was completely transparent. The Thai husband knew about the boyfriend (and vice versa). Her one daughter was also a sex worker. It’s just a very different sort of life.

I left shortly after that, with lots to think about after being exposed to such a different perspective. While waiting for my ride home, some young western girls were singing along to “we were young, wild and free”, while a dodgy chap tried to sell me a wristwatch.

Two flights amounting to 17 hours in total, concluded my 6-month adventure of Thailand, Vietnam and Indonesia. I had slept on 25 different beds, on 1 couch, and 1 mattress on the floor. I shudder to think how many flights I took in total. I need to plant some trees to offset my carbon footprint.

Before leaving through the airport malls, I was left with one final question: What does “duty free” even mean?? It feels like tons of extra duty goes into the price tags.

I will be gifting a very random array of Xmas presents this year.

Previously: Thailand #30 – Festival of Lights (and Darkness)